Don't get me wrong. I LOVE being married. I adore being in the relationship I'm in, ups and downs and crazy turns along the way, but you know what? It's not a Disney movie, where everything is wonderful all the time, and the only adversity is the scheming stepmother.
And actually, most of the time the Hollywood idea of "twoo wuv" pisses me off six ways to Sunday. It's not only unrealistic, it slights those of us who realize that really, relationships and marriages take work. It's fun work, but it's bloody hard work too. It's realizing that your partner, really, isn't PERFECT. Oh, and neither are you.
The best you can hope for is to be perfect for EACH OTHER. Yeah, trust me, my beloved has habits that drive me insane. He's got habits that routinely cause me to grind my teeth and kick his shoes out of my way. I know I've got habits that drive him straight up the nearest wall. (There's a reason I'm trying to use a lot of stash up here lately...he's good about my
compulsive fabric whorishness hoarding stockpiling buying, but the man does have a limit. He isn't complaining, just wondering when we're opening the fabric store....) I tend to leave the kitchen a disaster after cooking, and he just grits his teeth and cleans it all up.
The thing is, though, that we're perfect for each other. We crack each other up, hold each other when we cry, and lean on each other when we need to. We've even worked out a system to allow us to have meltdowns. (If one of us is having a meltdown, the other MUST hold it together. Then, that person gets to melt down. It works for us.)
Attack Laurel's latest post about relationships is totally worth a read. You should go check it out. I'll probably rant more about this later today, as the mood strikes me.
ETA: After thinking about it, one of the things that I mentioned earlier, the fact that a relationship takes work, is almost totally glossed over by Hollywood. There are few movies, animated or otherwise, that show the work that every party in a relationship must put in if it's to last more than a few weeks or months, or perhaps short miserable years. Yes, I said work. No, most relationships aren't those wonderful breezy things that you just fall into and everything is sparkly and perfect forever and ever and ever...
I'll admit, I was lucky. My relationship, while it does take work, probably takes a lot less than it seems like it should. We did *click* and we both knew this was right, but we still had to work the kinks of living wth each other out. Let me tell you, unpacking after our first PCS together was..an experience.
I learned that John is a "Get rid of all the boxes NOW!" type, while I'm a "We'll get to it when we get to it," type. After seeing how miserable it made him to be stranded in a sea of boxes, we did it his way. It was work to figure out if arguing over the pace of sorting through boxes was worth the heartache, and the fact was, it's not a hill I'm willing to die on.
So that's a huge part of my beef with Hollywood romance. It's too easy, too perfect and too quick to fail in the real world.