To Lucasta, going to the Wars
TELL me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
That from the nunnery
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
To war and arms I fly.
True, a new mistress now I chase, 5
The first foe in the field;
And with a stronger faith embrace
A sword, a horse, a shield.
Yet this inconstancy is such
As thou too shalt adore; 10
I could not love thee, Dear, so much,
Loved I not Honour more.
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE being married. I adore being in the relationship I'm in, ups and downs and crazy turns along the way, but you know what? It's not a Disney movie, where everything is wonderful all the time, and the only adversity is the scheming stepmother.
And actually, most of the time the Hollywood idea of "twoo wuv" pisses me off six ways to Sunday. It's not only unrealistic, it slights those of us who realize that really, relationships and marriages take work. It's fun work, but it's bloody hard work too. It's realizing that your partner, really, isn't PERFECT. Oh, and neither are you.
The best you can hope for is to be perfect for EACH OTHER. Yeah, trust me, my beloved has habits that drive me insane. He's got habits that routinely cause me to grind my teeth and kick his shoes out of my way. I know I've got habits that drive him straight up the nearest wall. (There's a reason I'm trying to use a lot of stash up here lately...he's good about my
compulsive fabric whorishness hoarding stockpiling buying, but the man does have a limit. He isn't complaining, just wondering when we're opening the fabric store....) I tend to leave the kitchen a disaster after cooking, and he just grits his teeth and cleans it all up.
The thing is, though, that we're perfect for each other. We crack each other up, hold each other when we cry, and lean on each other when we need to. We've even worked out a system to allow us to have meltdowns. (If one of us is having a meltdown, the other MUST hold it together. Then, that person gets to melt down. It works for us.)
Attack Laurel's latest post about relationships is totally worth a read. You should go check it out. I'll probably rant more about this later today, as the mood strikes me.
I'll admit, I was lucky. My relationship, while it does take work, probably takes a lot less than it seems like it should. We did *click* and we both knew this was right, but we still had to work the kinks of living wth each other out. Let me tell you, unpacking after our first PCS together was..an experience.
I learned that John is a "Get rid of all the boxes NOW!" type, while I'm a "We'll get to it when we get to it," type. After seeing how miserable it made him to be stranded in a sea of boxes, we did it his way. It was work to figure out if arguing over the pace of sorting through boxes was worth the heartache, and the fact was, it's not a hill I'm willing to die on.
So that's a huge part of my beef with Hollywood romance. It's too easy, too perfect and too quick to fail in the real world.
I'm sorry for the confusion regarding the forgiveness post. In the Orthodox Church, the Sunday before the start of Great Lent is "Forgiveness Sunday," when we ask those we have offended in this year to forgive us our transgressions. I usually do it on LJ because, well, it's my largest social outlet, pretty much.
I also am simply amazed at my life. Yeah, things aren't always the best, sometimes I fall and don't remember to look up to see my blessings, but seriously? My life is incredible.
I have a wonderful marriage and romantic life. I am surrounded by love and affection at every turn, even when I wonder why.
I have a job I adore and I am lucky enough to still be employed.
I am involved with a hobby that allows my inner geek out to play, and surrounds me with more open-hearted friends than I know what to do with. (I'm looking at you,selenite,celticdragonfly , andliamstliam andfieryredhead, and cenliamgordon, and...damn...pretty much ALL the SCAdians on my f-list....and speaking of SCAdians and lists...spikywheel, did my package ever get to you? I've had a spate of screwy mail recently and I wanted to make sure your giftie didn't get caught up in it.) The SCA lets me revel in my love of pomp and circumstance and allows me to help others without people wondering what the hell I want.
God has truly graced me with so many good things and I am constantly in awe of the things He deems fit to bestow upon me.
I was just looking at this picture, and I realized all over again how absolutely beautiful my husband is.
He's so absolutely amazing in so many ways that he takes my breath away, ever day. I am so blessed to have him in my life. (He also drives me bonkers in so many ways, but God, how lucky am I?)
My parents made it, from San Antonio and Dallas, and brandyeileen came to offer support, too. The Centurion was there, as well, as we'd been hanging out before John left. :-) It's hard to explain how much that helps, to have folx around you to hold on to when the world tips over a bit. I didn't cry before he got on the bus, and I'm sure I embarrassed the snot out of him, because as his name was called and he headed for the door of the bus, I yelled out "I love you, John!"
Amazingly enough, I am not comotose with grief or sadness. Part of it is that I just *can't* be. I have too much stuff on my plate right now. Am ignoring the cell phone, mostly, to try and get stuff done. We'll see how effective this actually is, you know?
Um. Let's see. Have a lovely bruise from a drop shot on my left shoulder, and a small one on my thigh. My shield shipped from Windrose earlier this week and I should have it soon. I think we're going to strap it to be ambidextrous, so that I can mess with people's heads. :-)
Got grumped at to start sewing more garb, dammit. :-D I should, and it's not hard, I'm just being lazy.
Oh, speaking of being lazy, I need to start keeping the food diary again. Seriously need to.
Okay, that's it for now.